Hagrid the Ninja
by lovemeasiam
Summary: I think the title says it all. funny, or so i've been told. Join Hagrid on a so called night off from his secret mission. lol.


This is my first fic that has been written solely by me and completed; there are loads in my files just sitting there in half written chaps. But at last I have done it! It was originally written for a series of stories written by my friends and myself, (see lovemepadfoot12 – A Story by Us) but I started writing it on the way to Dorset and by the time I had returned it was completed so no-one else got a look in. It took off by itself and it is written in a completely different format as well so I figured I should just claim it as my own for my own account!

So here it is…

Hagrid the Ninja

The partially full moon was high above the grounds of Hogwarts, and an eerie shadow fell upon the castle and surrounding forest. All the grounds, that is, with the exception of one sole, lonely hut on the edge of the forest – Hagrid's hut.

The inside of the hut was basic but enough to live a decent life in – well that is what it appeared to be to the ordinary wizarding eye. But in fact it was so much more.

For Hagrid was a ninja!

- Here have a few seconds to comprehend that…

Enough? Good. For he was!!! He was in fact the Order's secret weapon, for one had yet to defeat the half-giant/half-man ninja (mainly because no-one had ever fought him before but the Order had more important things to think about than that!)

He was slow and clumsy on the outside, but his inside mind was quick and agile – well the Order liked to think so at least, so lets play along, ok – in comparison.

He was beautiful in combat, albeit with no contender, whirling and twirling, ducking and umm… swirling! Leaping, gliding, sweeping, sliding…weeping, hiding, falling, ohh ouch!

Ok, so he may not be the most graceful or deadly or intimidating or harmful (ok! We get the point) ninja in the world – or anything near to be honest – but we must remember the wizarding world had yet to lay their eyes on one (a ninja that is).

This particular night was however just the average night for Hagrid (the secret ninja AKA the "Order's Secret Weapon").

He had spent the evening baking some rock cakes in hope of perhaps Hermione Granger coming to see him, or Neville Longbottom at the very least, but his hope was to no avail as neither came or even so much as popped their head around the door.

He then spent the rest of the evening feeding the rock cakes to Fang slowly, and carefully, so as to avoid any loss of limbs.

He had looked down at his remaining fingers, and stroked the pair that were left and then proceeded to pat his dog, Fang on the head lovingly – but far away from those deadly fangs of his.

He had then moved to his bed, and just as he was about to curl up under the covers a sharp knock at the door was heard.

Hagrid groaned, and stretched before reaching to the chair by his bed to retrieve his dressing gown and favourite maroon slippers (what could he say, sometimes one couldn't help having favourites. Go Gryffindor!) He moved towards the door and began opening the heavy oak which provided an entrance to his lowly hut, and he couldn't help noticing that it badly needed oiling considering the awful screech that it had made.

Hagrid glanced around the empty doorway before spotting a hooded man hiding behind a spindly tree that resembled more of a twig seeing as it had been planted but only the day before.

Still, Hagrid was not picky about such things.

"Hagrid," the man began quickly, "OotP needs you, operation SN or OSW, I suppose for I am not picky either Hagrid" he smiled, (well we can only guess due to it being pitch black and the fact that he was covered in black completely from head to toe, but hey a guess is a good as anything and this is what we are interpretating it as!) "Begins now!" he concluded finally.

Hagrid rushed slowly into his hut, carefully but still bumping into everything in his way. He changed quickly into his ninja outfit (and if you require a description of this, feel free to ask.) and returned to the man about an hour later (this is very quick for Hagrid may I add) who by this point had hypothetically turned blue (see you can't argue with that).

The man dropped to the ground, and crawled approximately two metres on his hand and knees before getting up again.

Hagrid realising the seriousness of this mission, dropped to the ground also, repeating the movements of the man.

Needless to say, the grounds of Hogwarts shook with vigour at this sudden movement and many a dorm light switched on.

However, this did not deter the two men creeping towards the edge of the forest, as both knew that something as petty as a few witnesses was not enough to destroy this mission.

That was, until, they were surrounded by ten armed professors, who also happened to be fully trained wizards funnily enough, and also happened to be muttering the binding curse.

_Dear OotP,_

_I regret to inform you that operation SN or OSW has failed much to the dismay of myself and said SN. _

_We do however require immediate help due to the failed operation, please come rescue us from the basement of Hogwarts castle where we are being held. _

_Apologies and pleas,_

_Wizard X and SN_

Thank you and review for me please! Oh yer and tell me whether I should keep it as a one-shot or continue…


End file.
